14 September, 2011

Y vos, ¿de qué lado estás?

Como hemos dicho hasta el hartazgo, el mundo se divide en dos, siempre. Si sos Saldivarista no podés ser RusaNadista; si sos AlPacinista no podés ser RobertDeNirista. Y así.

Hoy hablaremos de otro claro caso de opuestos complementarios. La fuerza indestructible versus la sabiduría. Es simple: o sos ChuckNorrisista o sos DavidCarradinaista.

El ChuckNorrisista llega a la fiambrería y, al ser informado de que el fiambrín solicitado no existe más, toma 25 aceitunas rellenas con morrón, se los coloca en la boca y, escupiendo cual metralleta, masacra a todos los presentes.

El DavidCarradainista opta por pedir 50 de queso danbo y 50 de paleta sanguchera, intercala las fetas y, con un certero golpe de muñeca, amalgama el contenido generando así su propio fiambrín.

¿Uno la pasó mejor que otro? Negativo: uno obtuvo justicia, otro obtuvo fiambre (en realidad ambos obtuvieron fiambre). Todos ganan.


Uno mataría a Arjona, el otro lograría que Arjona se suicidase. Uno se pone gomoso cuando le lavan el pelo en la peluquería, el otro se pone gomoso solo porque se corta su propia cabellera.

Se puede ser ChuckNorrisista, se puede ser DavidCarradainista, no se puede ser ambas cosas.

Decime, ¿de qué lado estás?

La batalla final: ¿quién gana?

73 comments:

CMM7 said...

Cómo que no de puede ser Robertdenirista y Alpacinista al mismo tiempo??
Igual me estoy yendo de tema, Chuck norris nomás, la poco comun muerte de Carradine lo hizo bajar un par de peldaños

peppers said...

No se puede ser Carradanista viejo, dejame de joder.... un tipo que se muere en bolas con una soga atada a los guevos adentro de un placard....

En cambio CHUCK..., CHUCK se carga una división entera de norvietnamitas con erpes masacrandalos con Tutucas cualquier día de SETIEMBRE...psss...

Kichu said...

En esto voy a proponer otro punto: también se puede ser Stevenseagalista! y siguiendo la linea de ejemplo de la fiambreria: el tipo se entera de la falta de fiambrin y no solo se hace su propio fiambre sino que lo utiliza a modo de garrote y tumba a medio negocio... quedando ilesa solo la rubia de la caja!!!

gastmun said...

Claramente chucknorrisista,incluso el se entera cuando escribis su nombre en un teclado y manda a Bill Gates a que te mande un mensaje de agradecimiento. Es un groso sin lugar a dudas

Vale said...

Sin ánimo de herir susceptibilidades, como que es más de mina la técnica de "incitar a", persuadir, resolver.
El tipo normalmente cavernícola recurre a la técnica Chucknorrisista y dice "Qué te pasa voh eh?, a mímedecí? agarráme que lo mato!". Un clásico.

Ro said...

chucknorrista hasta los tuétanos. rusanadista, también.. aunque mi meteorólogo favorito es el de c5n, diego angeli. se los recomiendo a las ocho, cuando está con mariela.

eMe said...

Chucknorrista, obvio. Me pasa como a Peppers, no me resulta serio un señor que se murió en bolas con una soga atada a los guevos adentro de un placard

Sandra Montelpare said...

ChuckNorrisista!!! ni se pregunta

Vale said...

Epa. Me parece que le va a tener que dar un premio al que vote por DeividCarradain. Por ahora el cosmos está quedando desbalanceado.

MARIA2 said...

Que emoción! 10.30 am y ya está el post y 9 comentarios. Ves que al que madruga dios lo ayuda?
El fiambrín lleva salame entremezclado. Ya me dió hambre y me faltan 2 hs para el almuerzo.

Anonymous said...

Chucknorrista...no, la peluca que usa me asusta.

Davidcarradinista tampoco, un tipo que se cuelga del pescuezo y de los huevos por placer sexual...mmm, No, definitivamente NO.
Hoy estoy demasiado exigente, Stevenseagalista tampoco desde que em entere que andaba tratando de voltearse menores y que salió "tocando" la guitarra en un video de Giselle D'cole(una payasa que pretendio hacerse la famosa).

Me parece que me quedo con Patoruzu.

CMM7 said...

Chuck norris usa peluca? Debe ser porque desde la ultima vez que se cortó el pelo este no se animo a volver a crecer

Sanguche said...

Hoy choqué el auto. 7:45 de la mañana y yo ahi, con el auto chocado en plena Velez Sarsfield.

En cuanto al subject de hoy, ABSOLUTAMENTE Carradainista, El tipo invento lo que despues usó el pichurri ese de norris. OK, se murio con las bolas atadas, pero estaba rodeado de putas tailandesas y tenia como 60 años! no se olviden de eso! hay que tener ganas de enfiestarse despues de caminar todo lo que caminó en kung fu! ademas acá en cordoba lo pasaban los domingos antes de "el lobo del aire"

negra! a secas... y a mojadas también said...

ay!!! yo también quiero volver a ver lobo del aire!!! tendré que ir a Córdoba??? me invitás?

debo ser sincera y señalar que cada acto de mi vida cada vez se acerca más al chucknorrismo... y sí! el fiambrín lleva salameeeeeee!!! y la paleta sanguchera es asquito...

Nonito Sabebien said...

Chucknorrista toda la vida!!!!
Tuvo su propia serie de "action figure"!!!

Anonymous said...

Negra, vos lo que querés ver al afeminadito con los ojos pintados que manejaba al lobo del aire.
Y respecto al topic, me quedo con Van Damme.

Mariluna said...

Por lo menos Deivid tuvo un final felíz... porque lo tuvo, no? Eso sería peor que morirse dentro de un placard con una soga atada a las bolas, no haber cumplido el objetivo inicial.

Igual, yo lo banco!

Sanguche said...

Chuck norris nunca tuvo una hatori hanzo!

Johnty said...

Soy protestante: Banco a Jack Bauer.

P.D.: Como me emocioné al ver que alguien que no era yo nombraba a mi ídolo seagal en menos de 5 posteos, sniff...

The Dark Knight said...

Estoy con Chuck, sin ninguna duda.

El mero hecho (cómo me gusta decir "el mero hecho"...) de que use en la cabeza el gato muerto que usa, es un acto de arrojo digno de admiración.

Valentina said...

Voto en blanco ?

Omar said...

Seagalista.
Carradainista.

Seagal viene, y no solo te pega porque es malo, sino que ademas te parte el brazo para demostrarte que la tiene larga gorda y peluda. Que divino, ser el bueno que pega mucho y con saña.

Por otro lado, carradaine se fifo a todas las chicas de bill, caminó como un cocainómano por todo el mundo siendo kung fu y encima, tuvo una muerte fiestera, que mas se puede pedir?

Cualquiera de ellos 2 podría ser mi abuelo, tranquilamente. Claro, que mi abuelo de verdad, a estos 2 se los come con 2 tapas de tarta.

Sole said...

Jack Bauerista a fullll .....!!!!!!
bien Johnty

ANOnymous said...

Perdón, pero alguien tiene que decirlo:
Carradine es y siempre fue una mentira. La pegó con Kung Fu cuando tenía 20 años y a partir de ahí no supo jamás salir de su personaje. Lo de oriental lo mantuvo porque era su única conexión con la gente. Después no hizo una sola peli como la gente.
Ya de viejo choto, el gran Tarantino lo sacó de su miseria y lo hizo hacer de lo único que sabía hacer y creó un personaje memorable (que no es otra cosa que el de Kung Fu pero viejo y malo).
Todo lo contrario del genio de Chuck, que siempre hace personajes diferentes... bue, pero por lo menos actúa bien... bue, no importa.
Aguante Splinter!

Ringo said...

Definitivamente PatMoritista!

Anonymous said...

siiii!!! yo banco al "senhor Miyagui"

Tak said...

carradines es un pelele... chuck norris se la banco en su momento pero despues se perdio en su propio humo... es el caruso lombardi de los heroes de accion... steven seagal se comio los mocos cuando el maraca de van damme lo quiso agarrar a piñas en un cumpleaños de stallone...
yo soy Milazzista... fanatico de Franco Milazzo... que se banco un año entero en el impenetrable chaqueño!

Sole said...

franco milaaazzoooo!!! groso!

CMM7 said...

Aguante Randolph McClain, el malo de los extermineitors (con Francella y Echevarria) que ahora se recibio de medico y les parte la mandarina en gajos a Chuck y a David. Y si Van Damme, Seagal y Sutherland quieren les da turno tambien

Mariano said...

Yo, que me apego a las reglas y elijo entre las dos opciones enumeradas en el post, me declaro DavidCarradaeista.
Me parece que Chuck Norris debe ser como Lorenzo Lamas, que se hacía el renegado y después todos nos enteramos que la mujer (que hacia kickboxing denserio lo cagaba bien a palos).
Párrafo aparte para el gran Franco Milazzo.

Mariano said...

Cerré mail un parentesis, el segundo párrafo debería ser:
Me parece que Chuck Norris debe ser como Lorenzo Lamas, que se hacía el renegado y después todos nos enteramos que la mujer (que hacia kickboxing denserio) lo cagaba bien a palos.
Ese fue Chuck Norris que me castigó.

Andrés said...

ChuckNorrisista a full !!!

ANOnymous said...

Chuck Norris se salvó con la muerte de Bruce Lee, porque si no hubiese sido el resto de su vida "el rubiecito ése que lo peleó a Bruce en la de los dos dragones".
Se murió el que cortaba el bacalao, y necesitaban otro para cubrir los gastos, y éste daba más para las fotos que cualquier chino insulso.
Hoy estoy así, con ganas de hacer amigos.

El otro said...

ChuckNorrisista por siempre.
El loco es sinturon negro, campeón mundial, tiene miles de millones de seguidores en todo el mundo, lee para alegrar el mundo las cosas que el hace.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMAI_b_kKmg
El video solo nombra 10 de las infinitas cosas de las que es capaz.
Segal ese es un papafrita, ayuda la naturaleza con agarres de aikido.
David Carradain cagó a Brus Lee y la única peli que pudo hacer como la gente es Kill Bill porque la dirigia tarantino porque sino ni mierda.

maría pía said...

no entiendo una goma de que estan hablando, a mi me gusta saldivar y fue.

Anonymous said...

Tiene razón Meripí, Saldivar los agarra a Chuck y Carradine juntos y los termina poniendo a tirar la goma por $5 abajo de Puente la Noria.
El gordo así como lo ven era ninja hace unos años pero como ahora no puede ser sigiloso porque le crujen las baldosas cuando pasa se tuvo que dedicar a otra cosa.

Omar said...

Leí "s"inturon y se me llenaron los ojos de lagrimas por el sistema educativo argentino.

eMe said...

JAJAJAJAJAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Omar, usté me mata, sepaló!

JDP said...

Yo Peronista!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

peppers said...

Blogger Omar said...

Leí "s"inturon y se me llenaron los ojos de lagrimas por el sistema educativo argentino.

September 14, 2011 4:27 PM

Y porque te acordaste de la "s"inturonga...

NiCO said...

Chucknorrista a full! Porque Chuck Norris puede tocar a MC Hammer. Ademas dicen que no hay mentón detrás de su barba, solo otro puño se los come vivo al resto, o de una patada giratoria

Cecy said...

che... yo se q me delata haber mirado esas peliculas pedorras pero no puedo ser La Roquista? (Dwayne Johnson 'The Rock')... si me dicen q no, me hago Martillo Hammerista

Anonymous said...

MC Hammer rules!

Roh said...

Carradine es/era lo más hasta que se murió en bolas clavándose una, ahí perdió TODA credibilidad.

¿Se puede ser Schwarzeneggerista? Ametralladora for everyone!

ANOnymous said...

Omar: y no leiste la brutalidad de peppers con ERPES? Se me vino a la cabeza la cola de peppers llena de ERPES y casi vomito.

Ro said...

martillohammerista es una postura muy interesante, debo decir..

Lovely Rita said...

¿Quién es más grande? ¿Chuck Norris o D-s?, Chuck porque....¡¡¡¡él es D-s!!!!!!

Cazador said...

Puedo ser Echavarrista?

Naaaaa said...

ChuckNorrisista
lei por ahi, que los que nos lavamos los dientes en el laburo somos raros, no vengo a decir que soy normal, solo que no entiendo que tiene de malo lavarse los dientes despues de almorzar...

El-Nico said...

Chuck, sin dudas.

Ju (+) said...

chacnorris nunca lo pude ni ver, lorenzo lamas, q estaba barbaro tambien me aburria el otro ni lo juno.
hay grises don!!!!
de q lado estoy, del otro)

Zeithgeist said...

era carra hasta q me entere de su poco honorable muerte.
Así que, desolada, me retiré de las artes marciales para siempre.
tuuuu.. ruruuuuu...

Cris DG said...

Yo soy MaxwellSmarista.

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