12 August, 2011

Final fantasy

Si uno hiciera un análisis más o menos concienzudo de las fantasías sexuales más comunes, descubriríamos que estamos todos bastante más torciditos de lo que pensamos. No es necesario fantasear con que la pareja de uno se disfrace de personal de maestranza del E.N.E.T. N°2 de Villa Soldati para llegar a esa conclusión, por supuesto.

La colegiala, por ejemplo: tiene varios puntos a remarcar, como el hecho de que mientras uno está en la secundaria y convive a diario con colegialas reales, no le da bola a esa fantasía; después crecemos y se ve que extrañamos. Otro punto es la no reciprocidad: ninguna mina fantaseó jamás con que su chico se vista de púber con blazer bordó, corbatita y un falso acné en la pera. Y el tercero pero no menos importante, es la cuestión de menoridad: técnicamente, el que quiere que su chica se vista de colegiala está deseando que se vista de nena. De NENA. Fuerte.

Otro lugar común es la fantasía médico-sanitaria: algunas quieren "ir al doctor", mientras que otros buscan que los atienda la enfermera. Más allá del uniforme (que en algunos casos puede quedar bien, por muy grasa que sea), recrear una situación de visita médica para calentarse es bastante freak. "Doctooor, ¿qué tengooooo? Tenés mononucleosis, perra. ¡Ay, sí, doctor!". Raro.

Después hay gente que fantasea con vestirse de candidato a concejal o de empleada uruguaya de Gas Natural, pero bueno, cada uno hace de su culo un pito, sin importar lo que esa frase signifique.
Lo único claro es que donde hay una persona, hay una fantasía.No sé, vos fijate.

A Ricardo Fort siempre le gustó el hombre-pizza de anchotas.

180 comments:

peppers said...

Rf debe oler peor que las anchoas...

Kichu said...

La creacion del hombre pizza es sublime!!!!!XD... por otro lado no habia tomado en consideración el matiz pedofilico de pedirle a la bruja la, cada año mas dificil,tarea de calzarse la pollerita del Normal 2!!!
como siempre smaep guiandonos en los mas frikis recovecos!!!

Ro said...

yo fuí colegiala uniformada legítima. mi pollera no pierde vigencia. sigue siendo igual de linda. enfermera fuí en mi fiesta de egresados, también fue lindo.
Yo pienso, que la fantasía involucra cualquier atuendo con un rol fuera de lo común, siempre y cuando se vea mucha mucha piel. policía, doctora, maestra jardinera, porrista, bibliotecaria, geisha.. todos garpan si se muestra lo que corresponde.

Lula Fenomenoide said...

Mirá, la mayoría de las colegialas con las cuales fantasean los tipos no son nenas, no solamente por la edad. Manejalo..

Lovely Rita said...

Muy bueno el tema de hoy: La de la colegiala, la enfermera, la azafata y caperucita roja ya están muuuuuy quemadas. Hay que reinventarse viejo: Si mi novio se me aparece un día vestido con el uniforme de cadete del Ejército Ruso o enfundado en un buen traje y con su bienamado saxofón tenor le doy hasta que el chavo se morfe 30 tortas de jamón seguidas.

TottoCharrua said...

Una fantasía, que me acompañó durante gran parte de mi juventud, era la de la mujer disfrazada de Conejita de Playboy.
Ahora, desde la óptica que ud lo plantea, me da miedo que tenga alguna inclinación por la zoofilia.
Otro tema para tratar con el sicólogo.

Juanita is dead said...

la de colegiala es heavy. estupro chicos. bueno que lo reconozcas.

no entiendo la de mucamita,
posta : veni a plumerearme èsta que tiene un polvo para vos?
nose ... da?

Llamame poco moderna cabeza cerrada , pero realmente los disfraces dan muyyyy grasa
es decir , si un pibe me cae disfrazado de bombero sexy yo puedo quedarme riendo en el piso hasta que me duela la cara.....

para terminar , si tanto te calienta el ambo cogete un medico y pedile que vaya con la ropa del trabajo.
Nose .. raro chicos.

Juanita is dead said...

la de colegiala es heavy. estupro chicos. bueno que lo reconozcas.

no entiendo la de mucamita,
posta : veni a plumerearme èsta que tiene un polvo para vos?
nose ... da?

Llamame poco moderna cabeza cerrada , pero realmente los disfraces dan muyyyy grasa
es decir , si un pibe me cae disfrazado de bombero sexy yo puedo quedarme riendo en el piso hasta que me duela la cara.....

para terminar , si tanto te calienta el ambo cogete un medico y pedile que vaya con la ropa del trabajo.
Nose .. raro chicos.

Ringo said...

Ud. dice que a Fort le pinta que le den masa con anchotas ?! Jajaja, sublime!

Valentina said...

A mi los uniformes no me van, ni me vienen. Ahora, mi Bienamado saliendo de la ducha con su pelo largo de vikingo renegado y oliendo por 20 seg seguidos a limpio, le doy hasta de memoria.

Pd : Estoy probando la cerveza lituana Svyturys. Ni se molesten en venir a probarla, es poca cosa :/

Peperina said...

Ahhh Valentina, el pelo largo es un disfraz en sí mismo! Tiene tantos usos!!

Yo salí un tiempito con un pelilargo que nunca se disfrazó (para mí), pero en mi cabeza yo tuve sexo con:

1. Un estudiante del Mayo francés.
2. Charly García en los tiempos de escribir la canción Peperina.
3. Catriel (cabe aclarar que el susodicho tenía toda su habitación decorada con motivos indígenas, banderas indigenistas y un póster gigante de Evo Morales).

Qué tiempos.

Mariela alias leti said...

Soy un embole, lo de los disfraces no lo entiendo. Me parece una ridiculez ponerme un vestidito de enfermera de once (más allá de que me quede como el orto). Como Valentina, me va más mi marido recién bañado y perfumado, o mínimo un calzón que no tenga agujeros.

Pipistrela said...

Ya fue el disfraz, rotundamente, para ellos y ellas. Aunque el hombre del ejército ruso que dijeron más arriba, suena interesante...

Ro said...

falta platea masculina acá!! andan todos pudorosos? qué onda?

maría pía said...

mi fantasia es ver a mi novio teniendo sexo con otra chica. Si, definitivamente.

Anonymous said...

Hombre presente.

Disfraz? que pensas garchar vestido? Nunca la entendi la de los disfraces. La unica vez que una srta se vistio de colegiala era porque iba a la secundaria y era su uniforme...pero a mi me calentaba ella, no la ropa. Podia estar vestida de 4 de Sportivo Albion y yo le daba igual.
A mi me encanta la ropa de calle, de todos los dias. No hay nada mas lindo que ver a una mujer vestida y pensar que prenda le vas a sacar primero.
Disculpeme Valentina, se pone contenta con que huela a limpio 20 segundos? con quien esta de novia, con Porky?c

Valentina said...

Don Anony, mi Bienamado tiene alergia a (casi) todo. El perfume y/o alcohol de los desodorantes incluidos. Mi nariz es HIPER sensible a los olores. Esto es AMOR carajo!!!

Johnty said...

Tengo pocas fantasías ya que la mayoría ya las cumplí. Así que son experiencias/recuerdos y no fantasías.

Aclaro: GARCHARSE UNA MINA QUE AÚN VA AL SECUNDARIO NO ES GARCHARSE UNA "NENA", es garcharse una flor de puta.

Sí, dije "que aún vá".

No es mi caso actual ya que la perra que me hace los mandados desde hace un anho, terminó el secundario hace como 3 o 4 anhos. (Le dije que amo Brasil?)

Las fantasías que me restan cumplir no las confieso porque me dan miedito a mí mismo.

P.D.: Ro, yo te hago mimos en la baticueva aunque te pongas una careta de tevez.

Anonymous said...

volvio Johnty!!!

Anonymous said...

y Sanguche?? volvera??

Anonymous said...

Valentina: su Bienamado, vikingo, noruego y con pelo largo, es fanatico del Black Metal?

Ro said...

señor yonti, uste sabe que es uno de mis preferidos, pero mi novio es el único que hace esas cosas. con o sin careta de tévez

Valentina said...

Don Anony, Ud. conoce algun vikingo noruego y con pelo largo que no sea fanatico del BM ? Yo no.

Anonymous said...

Muy bien por su novio Valentina. Y usted? Ojala le haya entrado el gustito por el BM.

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