17 December, 2010

Destino incierto

Según la revista Viva, Escorpio va del 22 de octubre al 21 de noviembre. Según La Nación Revista, va del 23 de octubre al 21 de noviembre. Según algunas webs, del 24 de octubre al 22 de noviembre.

Esto significa que si uno nació el 22 de octubre, para Clarín es emocional, decidido, poderoso, apasionado, celoso, compulsivo y obsesivo.


En cambio, para La Nación es versátil, aventurero, optimista, fiable, honesto, bueno y sincero.

Y sin importar quién lo diga, debemos suponer que dos ñatos que nacieron el mismo día y a la misma hora, tienen el mismo destino para un momento determinado. Por ejemplo, un rosarino y un neocelandés que nacieron al mismo tiempo juegan un partido de tenis, ¿qué onda? Porque uno va a ganar y uno va a perder, pero para la Cosmopolitan van a ganar los dos. O perder, lo que sea. Por ahí el que pierde se caga encima de la bronca mientras saluda al umpire, millones de personas ven el video en youtube, va a todos los programas de la tarde y termina haciendo avisos de pastillas de carbón en canales de cable y termina cobrando igual notoriedad que el que ganó. Ahí estaríamos bien, aunque lo veo un toque difícil.

Uno tiene que dar por hecho que a todos los acuarianos les va a tocar esta semana un ascenso en el laburo, de acuerdo al ítem Sorpresa del horóscopo. Yo, que soy escorpiano, ni aparezco por la oficina, si total a Fernández le van a aumentar el sueldo porque nació en Febrero.

Ahora, ¿me querés decir cómo puede haber tantos millones de salames que creen en el horóscopo?

Sorpresa: ésta.

341 comments:

1 – 200 of 341   Newer›   Newest»
Sanguche said...

Sorpresa, acariciala!

El horoscopo esta hecho, creo yo, para la gente que no tiene que hacer mientras toma cafe.

Soy de leo, soy re jodido...

Sanguche said...

Hay 11 personas on line y fui el primero? esto es una vergüenza!

"nuevo" said...

la fotos y sus comentarios, jamas te dejan a gamba, son unicos.

Mariluna said...

Yo no entiendo cómo hay personas que creen que su vida esta regida por la inventiva de un ñato que arma un montón de frases locas seguro, seguro, mientras esta en el baño. Y encima le pagan... no, si yo me equivoqué de laburo.

Soy de leo... soy jodida, pero no sé si tanto.

maría pía said...

yo cumplo el 21 de noviembre y soy de escorpio para cualquier diario con diferencia de fechas.
tampoco creo en el horoscopo.

Cazador said...

Soy de Aries, pero soy rebelde porque soy contrario a lo que dice(?).
Jamas el horoscopo le pego conmigo. Sera que el Universo esta emperrado conmigo :D

Ailen said...

Cada vez que alguien comenta algo de los signos automáticamante se me viene a la mente la "Tana" Ferro y su análisis impecable del hecho.
A partir de hoy, 17 de diciembre de 2010, vas a compartir un espacio en mi mente junto a la Tana...sabelo!

Chau, me voy a leer capricornio que se viene mi mes y seguro tengo buenas nuevas!!! iupiii =)

Sanguche said...

UHHHH, pero que putas son las de escorpio! (rememorando viejos post)

que locas las de aries y mandonas las de acuario.
Seguirira, pero esos son los pocos signos que se me vienen a la cabeza...


todo mentira...

maría pía said...

en que se basa SANGUCHE para predicar eso?

Miguel Angel said...

che yo soy un salame se ve
aa y soy de leo!!!

Sanguche said...

Me base en un mi experiencia, el saber popular y el imaginario colectivo, un poco.

Sanguche said...

ENVIDIENME: estamos por comer el asado de fin de año en la obra.

Si hay algo bueno en este laburo, que por lo general es un bodrio, son los asados; y mucho mas, el de fin de año.

repito, ENVIDIENME

florinónimous said...

seee, Ailén, lo de la tana en esa película es genial.
Soy de Libra, no soy indecisa, solo tengo un par de problemitas, por ejemplo quiero saber siempre con antelación qué vamos a comer.

MARIA said...

Ale, como salgo de vacaciones, quiero saludar a todos los pilotines.
Espero que tengan un año excelente, lleno de exitos y alegrìas.
A vos en particular, te deseo lo mejor. Que todo lo que das te vuelva 100 veces. Cada mañana es una sonrisa que te agradezco de todo corazòn.
Un beso para todos y hasta el año que viene.

maría pía said...

saludos maria!
yo me rajo de vacas el 2 de enero.

Cla said...

La verdad que no lo sé, para mí que las personas que lo escriben se fuman uno antes de hacerlo!

Mariluna said...

Pasala lindo María!!!

Quiero un asadito y unas vacatas YA!

Sanguche said...

Maria, felices vacaciones!
Fuma porro y curti a lo loco!

Yo me tomo la segunda de enero.


(estoy aburridiiiisimo en la oficina)

eMe said...

Ale, soy capricorniana y mono, me leés el apartado de la salud, por favor??? Y ya que estás, SORPRESA también.

María, buenas vacaciones, pasalá genial!!!!

Ringo said...

Con la mentira que son los diarios el horoscopo es casi tan exacto como las leyes de Newton...

Mi mas sinceros augurios y puteadas en proporción para los que comen asado y se van de vacaciones...

Ailen said...

Disfrutá por todos nosotros MARIA!!!

Casi que me emociono con lo que escribió:
"Cada mañana es una sonrisa que te agradezco de todo corazòn", coincido en un 100%.

Y me sumo a las instrucciones Sanguchezcas de lo que DEBES hacer en tus vacaciones ;)

Buen finde gentuza pilotil!!!

Johnty said...

En el único horóscopo en el que creo es en el del chicle bazooka.

Anonymous said...

Este blog se esta yendo para el lado Fortiano, todos hablan del horoscopo y nadie menciona a la chola tocandole los huevazos al toro??
Adonde hemos llegado?

Tomás en Shorts said...

acordate que clarin miente. esa es la solucion.


altos huevos los del coso ese. realmente fue una sorpresa

Shimmy said...

yo leo el horóscopo de ayer para saber lo que me pasó

Silencioso pero mortal said...

Wenas! Tambien soy novo por aqui.
Loco, lo que me haces cagar de risa con tus post´s! Antes religiosamente leia todos los dias Pop Life (tambien de manera silenciosa) y ahora que cerro, religiosamente entro a SMAEP. De hecho me estoy poniendo al dia con los post mas viejos y, de nuevo, me cago de risa! Asi tambien como con los comentarios, claramente.
Saludos

PD: seria muy bardero de mi parte comentar que me tomo enero entero de vacaciones? Dado que maria se va el 2... digo no?

Gabb said...

Yo no me se muy bien tooodos los signos del sodiaco,de hecho creo que sabré uno o dos.
Se que las mujeres los sabemos pero yo no, no me siento incluida en la charla de sos de capricornio??, mi abuela es de capricornio nacio el lalala de lalla,no entiendo un pomo de eso asique no me dedico a leer la cosmopolitan...
Se ve que tendré algo que hacer mientras tomo cafe...

Ro said...

yo soy de escorpio, y leo siempre mi horóscopoco, pero al ratito me olvido qué decía y lo ignoro.
la vida es un amierda cuando tenés hambre, he dicho.

felcies vacaciones maría!!

Jorge said...

Estimado Máá-si-Carlitos-no-se-baña-yo-tampoco:
Una duda : la señorita de la foto de que signo es que se la ve tan contenta? Para mí es de Tauro...
A la gente hay que decirle lo que quiere oír, ahí está el éxito de los astrólogos, los psicoanalistas, los políticos y los periodistas....
Atte y buen finde!

Fran said...

Solo voy a decir que AMO los libros de Ludovica :P

Cazador said...

Horangel=Dios(?)

Ale said...

Yo tuve la "suerte" de trabajar con Horangel: le hice unos comerciales de sus libros. El tipo miraba a cámara y cuando le pifiaba en la toma se daba vuelta y culpaba a una asistente por haber dejado una puerta abierta o al productor por no tener derecho el cartel con el texto. Nunca hacerse cargo de nada el empelucado. Y un dato de color: él se llama Horacio, su difunta mujer se llamaba Ángela; ergo: Horangel, el acto más pollerudo de la historia de los actos pollerudos.

*Gé* said...

yo sólo creo en el horóscopo cuando me gusta lo q me sale.. sino digo q es puro chamuyo!
Felices vacas maria!! disfrute x nosotros! =)

Roh said...

Yo no creo en el horóscopo. O si. No lo sé.
Soy de géminis, y mi otro yo y yo no entendemos nada.
O seremos tres?

Cat said...

Al igual que *Gé*, yo creo en el horóscopo cuando le pega con mi carácter y/o dice algo positivo.

Si no dice nada que me sirva, es puro chamullo.

¬¬

PD: Aguante Piscis y arriba los que vacacionan en Marzo!

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